jadi, dari judulnya juga udah gaya "dear diary" jadi mah udah pasti tentang curhaaattttt mahaha, dan pastinya the randomest (randomest? it's not even a word. WHOOOO CAREEEESSS) thing ever

cutest pony ever

soo um, isinya emang gapenting, yang mo liat yang penasaran aja (walaupun i know no one does). isinya tentang what's happening lately with me or my life or whatever lol, soalnya i'm not feeling really good, not sick, but you know lahh.. what most teenagers (mainstream) feels.. soalnya i couldn't found anything to make me feel better jadi i think by writing something down will help a little bit. dan kalo someone actually cares, THAT WOULD MAKE MY DAY (which nobody wouldn't)

1st thing: AKHIRNYA ME 9 GRADER!!! yeeppp, babay kelas 8, heeyy kelas 9 ;;) i knooww beberapa orang doesn't find it fun, tapi gatau kenapa i'm excited with everything about it except about the fact that gabisa sekelas lagi sama anggota 8 strive :( yang udah nyaman bangeeeeeeeeeeettttttttt disana. tapi ya i believe that i will get used to it ;) MANGAAT!! soalnya i learn that walaupun kita udah punya our own comfort zone yang udah bener bener pas, at some point we need to get out.. no matter how, is it your choice or not. dengan begitu we can learn how to adapt in another zone and have a lot of zones that we can live in, and feel comfortable about it. (kalo gangerti yaudah wkwkkwkw)

Tapi yah aku gabisa boong.. it is hard to be a 9th grader... bukan cuma TO ato ujian ujian yang nungguin depan mata tinggal ngitung bulan terus hari, tapi since we're the "senior" i don't feel like one. we need to act like the "most grown up" diantara anak2 kelas 7 & 8, terus yang aku rasain sih that we're pushed buat jadi contoh terbaik which is i'm afraid that i couldn't make it happen. but well life goes on ya gak? (gayaaaaaaaabet) kalo salah ya salah deh, mana ada orang yang gabikin kesalahan ya gak? (aeeeeeeee) jadiii sekarang mah tinggal nikmatin aja dan wait patiently to finally GRADUATE WHOOP CAN'T WAIT

karena ini juga our LAST YEAR (sedih yah :"( *gak sih biasa aja* di SMP, i just hope that it'll be our blessed year, most wonderful, paling ga terlupakan, dan terkeren yang bakal kita semua kenang nyampe nenek nenek kakek kakek (lebeeeeeeeeee *bae*) dan yang paling aku harepin sih that we can feel the togetherness di taun terakhir ini :") *uuuuhhhhh:33*

sebulan sudah di kelas 9, tinggal beberapa bulan lagi menuju ujian2, UN, dan lulus... 

2nd thing: senin sampe rabu kemarin kita ada MABIT HIKMAH YEAH (ato hikmah ramadhan) mirip mirip pesantren kilat gitu deh.. i never been so excited about this, tapi gatau kenapa yang taun ini yang paling ditunggu tunggu... mabit terakhir dan i hope bakal jadi yang paling berkesan.. DAN EMANG IYA PALING BERKESAN XD awalnya aku pikir gara-gara emang kelompok aku udah paling puurrrfeeccttt (ada azka, iffa, hasna, hana, febi *mereka juga hampir semuanya the closest friend, or should i say BESSTTT FRIEND EVAAHH lebay yah emang sumpah getek saya juga*) kita juga kelompok MACHOO YA GAAKKK hahahaha... diketuain sama *ehem* saya sendiri ;;) wkwkwk... tapi ternyata kelompok bagus itu just another gift, yang paling berkesan yang pasti all of the experiences... GAAHH ME SO LUCKY.. tapi sayang hana gabisa ikut D:

we had A LOT OF FUN it just, it's ah, speechless... indescribable... best experience ever.. setiap kejadian, ever moment, pokonya inget terus.. terutama pas susahnya bangunin iffa subuh2 buat masak saur udah ditindihin aja ga bangun-bangun.. ajaib emang.. pas udah bangun bilangnya mo ngambil kaos kaki soalnya dingin, eehhh TIDUR LAGI -____- tapi ya gimana pun juga, mabit terkeren, rame banget pokonyaaa... tapi sayang banget cuma sebentar :( pengennya dilamain, seminggu lah seengganya :( masih kangen bu empat sama pa enih :( (orang tua yang ngasuh kita disana)... terus pas udah mau pulang si ibu bilang "atuh cu, kalo udah gaada disini entar sepi lagi disinii" SO SWEETTT, SEDIH BANGET POKONYA :( pengen lagiiiii :( tapi gimana lagi ya, kita harus pulang :( dan ya aku harap apa yang udah kita lakuin, bisa berguna buat orang orang :D

3rd thing: sekarang bagian paling gapenting, yaitu curhat about what i really feels :P biasa lah yah teenager ages masa masa terlabil.. masamasa yang paling males aku hadepin.. at one time you feel like excited with everything, tapi bisa aja suddenly you turn out feels like nothings going right, everything's wrong. i don't know what to do.. and the worst part, you don't know why you feel that way... dan honestly that is exactly what i'm feeling right now :P *curhaatt mbaaaaa*

i feel sad for no reason, mad at nothing, feel like i want to shout at anybody who tries to bother me while i already feel like i'm bothered. gaenak banget rasanya... aku pernah liat quotes says that "it's hard to tell what's wrong, when nothing's right" and that is COMPLETELY TRUE, itu bener bener related sama what i'm feeling right now or most of the time. i don't know how to make myself feel better. there's just a few people yang bisa ngelakuin itu, antaranya ya kalo ga iffa, hasna, azka, hana :P but, well idk... terus kadang2 suka ada pikiran random in my mind. kaya sekarang i suddenly think about this